And In Today’s Edition Of “This Is Why The Terrorists Hate Us”: Why I Love My iPod Classic

Technology is by definition constantly changing, updating and outmoding itself. However every few generations, certain items become instantly and lastingly iconic. The Model T Ford, McDonald’s “Big Mac”, the pen, and for our generation, the iPod is one such creation. However when you say iPod to people, chances are they aren’t picturing a sleek new 5th gen touch.

The iPod Classic is, for the following reasons (apart from obvious functionality and battery life claims) the most superior personal listening device of all time (of all time!)

Sex-tastic

The Classic is damn right sexy. This incorporates much more than it’s aesthetics and feel. Nothing gets me hotter than uploading entire seasons of Gossip Girl or Pretty Little Liars onto my Classic and knowing I still have 100+ gigabytes free.

"Oh yeah... dat extra data capacity... TURN THAT CLICK WHEEL BABY! OH! OH! OHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Invincibleness

My Classic has been with me for 5 years now. During that time it has been dropped, temporarily submerged in both coke and beer, rained on multiple times, kicked while running, bitten by a cat and closed in a car door. Despite a few character-adding scratches, I have only had to restore its software once and never had to undertake hardware repairs. I would buy a spare Classic and load it up with music to be put in storage for the future right now, if I didn’t have faith that this Classic could outlast nuclear war.

It understands my humanity

The designers of music devices are now obsessed with packing more features, into fewer items. One can see the advantage of this, in saving time (the four seconds it takes me to pause and grab my laptop for using Facebook), and increasing mobility. However, as we add more features, we dilute the original purpose of the device. If your attention span or multi-tasking abilities are as short-lived as mine usually are, having Facebook updates, Twitter feeds and game opportunities available, usually means I couldn’t tell you much about the song I just listened too.

My Classic has become over the last few years, my oasis, my temple, my fortress of solitude in an otherwise over-exposed world. The ability to plug in to a world where all that is available is music, means hour long bus commutes disappear and my focus is trained. I think it is important that sometimes, we can’t be reached. It means the music is all we hear, all we care about during those 5 – 8 minutes. It is mainly for this reason I believe (in a somewhat Luddite fashion), the Classic will never be outperformed as a portable listening device, in terms of music.

So next time you’re doing four things at once on you iPod touch or iPhone and you realise you have no clue what song you just listened to… throw that shit in the bin and join us in 2007 with the 6th Gen 160GB Classic.

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